Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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