Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You left your phone here
Wait...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
