Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
