i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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