on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize