My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
