do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
