Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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