Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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