When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
