Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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