I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
