just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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