Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
