it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
