If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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