ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
