SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
