Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
