Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize