We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
