Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What a dumb baby whore.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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