If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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