i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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