Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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