ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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