the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
