it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
