guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
