he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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