he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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