It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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