so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just found a bag of teeth...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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