I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
