On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
