Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
