if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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