I'm really into asian looking animals
thus making me awesome and them whores
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
