I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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