Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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