he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
True strength comes from lack of pants
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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