That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
