I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
