you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
