why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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