The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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