i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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