i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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