Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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