god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
