Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we're making bets on your personal life
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
