Ambien. No doubt about it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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