Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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