Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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