He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
