thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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