I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I will die if light touches me.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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