We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
