just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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