i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
