i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
