Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
